Leaving Ella

To say going on vacation with my husband was tough is an understatement, and I don't mean this to be funny.  Leaving Ella is one of the hardest things I have had to do.  And it wasn't only leaving her, but when we were leaving and the unknown.  

Ryan had two gigs back to back.  One in Alaska and the other in Arizona; two completely different extremes!  He arranged with with the clients for me to be able to tag along.  That all seemed great 10 months out but as time got closer it started to hit me that I was leaving my baby for a whole week.

To make matters worse, we were leaving on election day.  With the turbulence in our country leading up to the election I knew that one outcome of the other was going to ensue some backlash.  This scared me to death.  What if I couldn't get home to my little girl?  What if Atlanta became crazy?  Too many unknowns for me to have peace about leaving.  

As I began sorting through my feelings, I was reminded of when I went to Haiti in 2010.  It wasn't until I go there that Satan was doing a number on me.  All I could think about was what if something happened to Ryan while I was gone.  Reality is, something could have happened to Ryan while I was in Atlanta; I couldn't constantly be there to protect him from everything (that's crazy).  But my heart was overtaking my head.  

That was what was currently happening when it came to leaving Ella.  I prepared as best I could to ensure things would run smoothly and her schedule would be un interrupted.  I prayed, I had 2 small groups praying, and I had a few family members praying that understood where I was coming from.  

Peace came!  That doesn't mean I didn't cry when I put her down for her nap before I left.  But I had peace.  Ultimately, I am not in control and Ella is a gift that I have been given for a short time.  I can't control her circumstances or ours, but simple trust.  We are in God's hands and who better to be in control!