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BACKGROUND INFO

This pregnancy wasn't my favorite.  With Ella, I enjoyed my time being pregnant; maybe it was because it was a first or maybe it is because this one was more difficult (I think that latter).  From trying to keep emotions in check to visiting the doctor(s) so many times that the office staff and nurses KNEW me (in two separate doctors' offices), it was exhausting, not to mention being pregnant is ACTUALLY exhausting!  But in the end, it was all worth it and I would do it over again in a heart beat.  As Ryan says, I do cook'em well!

From the start of this pregnancy, we all had the date May 31 in mind.  I needed to make it until May 31.  That put me at 37 weeks and a full term baby.  Obviously, the longer Landon could stay in the better, but May 31 was our benchmark.  Plus, I didn't want a May baby, I wanted a June baby!

Ryan and I talked and I read up on what it's like to go into labor.  I was scared because I hadn't experienced that before and they always tell you pregnancies are different, births are different and kids are different. So why would I expect anything different!

As we moved along, my blood pressure was staying in check and I had good control over my blood sugar!  YES!  All signs were pointing to not having to be induced early.  Then in May, the doctor said I could plan an induction for June 14 (39 weeks).  That was fine, it took a little of the guess work out as long as I didn't go into labor before hand.

ON WITH THE SHOW

As mentioned all things being monitored were good.  We had a small scare in the middle of May, but all blood work and other things were good.  On Tuesday, May 30 I went in for my regular appointment with my OB and to have a non-stress test.  Ella came and had a great setup watching Sesame Street.  Things seemed to check out and we went home.  Small group was over that evening, so I was confirming with them about who I could call should I need someone to stay with Ella.  

Still working out childcare for Ella, as I wanted someone that could be here the entire time and could continue on with her as if I was here with her.  I was supposed to talk to a potential person (that definitely would have worked out) on Friday.  

Wednesday came, May 31.  The day we needed to get to.  Our cleaning people were here to clean the house.  Ella did our normal Publix/UPS Store/Chipotle run.  Sat down to eat lunch after I put her down for a nap and I got a call that I sent to voicemail.  It was my doctor calling, so I assumed they were just telling me that all my test results from the day before were normal.  Why wouldn't they be?  They had been every other time.

I listen to the message and it isn't Candice (the medical assistant), but Anjean (the nurse).  She needed me to call her back.  When I finally got a hold of her, she so nicely broke the news, "Ashley you need to pack a bag as if you are going to have the baby and go to the hospital.  Some results came back abnormal and we want to run a few more tests."

I won't forget those words.  My heart sunk.  I wasn't ready.  I didn't have childcare for Ella.  Who was I going to get to the house to watch her and what if I did have to have the baby? I didn't have that ready; I was supposed to talk to my potential on Friday!  Plus, my husband, he was currently texting me from a plane on his way to Canada!  The dog, well, I could take care of him, he was the least of my concerns.

I broke down crying.  Anjean knew why, she had been with me just yesterday as I had talked about Ryan being gone and still trying to work out childcare!  This wasn't how it was supposed to go.  Ryan was supposed to be here!  Ella was supposed to have someone I truly trusted watching her.  

The Sitter Tree (hope they aren't reading my blog b/c I don't want to get in trouble for going around the system!) has provided us with wonderful sitters.  So I called one of them with the hopes that she could come over until the evening and I could work everything else out.  She had loaned her car to her brother and could come once he was back.  "Can you take an Uber if I pay for it?" I asked.  Loris is amazing; she wrapped up everything with her day job and got in an Uber to come to the house.  I didn't have a time to tell her how long I would be or if I would even be coming home.  But she came and was willing to stay as long as needed.

I went upstairs where Ella was napping, with tears in my eyes and kissed her goodbye.  This isn't how I wanted to leave for the hospital.  I wanted more time with her.  I wanted to us to have a proper last-just-the-two-of-us day.  I wanted to enjoy all of our last just the two of us and savior the moments knowing that it was going to be different.  Different is a fun, new way. But different none the less.

I had everything packed for the hospital that was my responsibility.  Chargers and computers are Ryan's responsibility.  But something in me said, Grab your phone charger and get your computer, You're going to need them!  Everything was put in the car and Bauer and I were off.  He was the easy part of the plan.  I just had to drop him off at Doguroo.  He could have cared less; he was going to his happy place.

When I think back on this I want to laugh and cry at the same time.  I TOOK MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL TO HAVE A BABY.  I literally had to drive myself, all by myself, to the hospital.  Who does that?!  

Got there, parked, walked in with tears in my eyes.  People probably thought something bad had happened as I walked the halls.  I went to check in and got assigned a room (and good thing because it turns out that they were about to be super busy with women going into labor that they were putting women in rooms that were separated by curtains until they were about to deliver).

At this point all I knew was that they were going to do some more tests to see if it was preeclampsia.  So I got ready for all everything, hooked up to tons of machines not making it easy to get up for any reason waiting on the doctor to tell me the plan.  I still had hopes that I would get to go home.  Then she came in and told that I wasn't going home, that we weren't going to do the test, but that we were doing to have the baby tomorrow.  How do you explain that you are excited to have a baby but just not yet because of circumstances?