Our Latest Gift


This pregnancy wasn't my favorite.  With Ella, I enjoyed my time being pregnant; maybe it was because it was a first or maybe it is because this one was more difficult (I think that latter).  From trying to keep emotions in check to visiting the doctor(s) so many times that the office staff and nurses KNEW me (in two separate doctors' offices), it was exhausting, not to mention being pregnant is ACTUALLY exhausting!  But in the end, it was all worth it and I would do it over again in a heart beat.  As Ryan says, I do cook'em well!

From the start of this pregnancy, we all had the date May 31 in mind.  I needed to make it until May 31.  That put me at 37 weeks and a full term baby.  Obviously, the longer Landon could stay in the better, but May 31 was our benchmark.  Plus, I didn't want a May baby, I wanted a June baby!

Ryan and I talked and I read up on what it's like to go into labor.  I was scared because I hadn't experienced that before and they always tell you pregnancies are different, births are different and kids are different. So why would I expect anything different!

As we moved along, my blood pressure was staying in check and I had good control over my blood sugar!  YES!  All signs were pointing to not having to be induced early.  Then in May, the doctor said I could plan an induction for June 14 (39 weeks).  That was fine, it took a little of the guess work out as long as I didn't go into labor before hand.


As mentioned all things being monitored were good.  We had a small scare in the middle of May, but all blood work and other things were good.  On Tuesday, May 30 I went in for my regular appointment with my OB and to have a non-stress test.  Ella came and had a great setup watching Sesame Street.  Things seemed to check out and we went home.  Small group was over that evening, so I was confirming with them about who I could call should I need someone to stay with Ella.  

Still working out childcare for Ella, as I wanted someone that could be here the entire time and could continue on with her as if I was here with her.  I was supposed to talk to a potential person (that definitely would have worked out) on Friday.  

Wednesday came, May 31.  The day we needed to get to.  Our cleaning people were here to clean the house.  Ella did our normal Publix/UPS Store/Chipotle run.  Sat down to eat lunch after I put her down for a nap and I got a call that I sent to voicemail.  It was my doctor calling, so I assumed they were just telling me that all my test results from the day before were normal.  Why wouldn't they be?  They had been every other time.

I listen to the message and it isn't Candice (the medical assistant), but Anjean (the nurse).  She needed me to call her back.  When I finally got a hold of her, she so nicely broke the news, "Ashley you need to pack a bag as if you are going to have the baby and go to the hospital.  Some results came back abnormal and we want to run a few more tests."

I won't forget those words.  My heart sunk.  I wasn't ready.  I didn't have childcare for Ella.  Who was I going to get to the house to watch her and what if I did have to have the baby? I didn't have that ready; I was supposed to talk to my potential on Friday!  Plus, my husband, he was currently texting me from a plane on his way to Canada!  The dog, well, I could take care of him, he was the least of my concerns.

I broke down crying.  Anjean knew why, she had been with me just yesterday as I had talked about Ryan being gone and still trying to work out childcare!  This wasn't how it was supposed to go.  Ryan was supposed to be here!  Ella was supposed to have someone I truly trusted watching her.  

The Sitter Tree (hope they aren't reading my blog b/c I don't want to get in trouble for going around the system!) has provided us with wonderful sitters.  So I called one of them with the hopes that she could come over until the evening and I could work everything else out.  She had loaned her car to her brother and could come once he was back.  "Can you take an Uber if I pay for it?" I asked.  Loris is amazing; she wrapped up everything with her day job and got in an Uber to come to the house.  I didn't have a time to tell her how long I would be or if I would even be coming home.  But she came and was willing to stay as long as needed.

I went upstairs where Ella was napping, with tears in my eyes and kissed her goodbye.  This isn't how I wanted to leave for the hospital.  I wanted more time with her.  I wanted to us to have a proper last-just-the-two-of-us day.  I wanted to enjoy all of our last just the two of us and savior the moments knowing that it was going to be different.  Different is a fun, new way. But different none the less.

I had everything packed for the hospital that was my responsibility.  Chargers and computers are Ryan's responsibility.  But something in me said, Grab your phone charger and get your computer, You're going to need them!  Everything was put in the car and Bauer and I were off.  He was the easy part of the plan.  I just had to drop him off at Doguroo.  He could have cared less; he was going to his happy place.

When I think back on this I want to laugh and cry at the same time.  I TOOK MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL TO HAVE A BABY.  I literally had to drive myself, all by myself, to the hospital.  Who does that?!  

Got there, parked, walked in with tears in my eyes.  People probably thought something bad had happened as I walked the halls.  I went to check in and got assigned a room (and good thing because it turns out that they were about to be super busy with women going into labor that they were putting women in rooms that were separated by curtains until they were about to deliver).

At this point all I knew was that they were going to do some more tests to see if it was preeclampsia.  So I got ready for all everything, hooked up to tons of machines not making it easy to get up for any reason waiting on the doctor to tell me the plan.  I still had hopes that I would get to go home.  Then she came in and told that I wasn't going home, that we weren't going to do the test, but that we were doing to have the baby tomorrow.  How do you explain that you are excited to have a baby but just not yet because of circumstances?  

I am then on the phone with Ryan and Delta getting his flight switched.  Lucky guy, went through customs in Canada and turn around and get right back on the next flight out.  

I hunkered down after crying and crying and watched a little Netflix.  The baby was coming so now all I could do was get excited.  I worked out the sitter stuff so that Ella could have the most consistent care throughout this time.  We planned when the Cervidil was going in based on the time Ryan's flight was going to land and how long it would take to get to the hospital incase it worked really fast!

Ryan got to the hospital around 12:30.  Once he was there, I felt more relief.  I had my support system!  We chatted and then went to sleep.  If it was anything like Ella's birth we knew it was going to be a long day.

They next morning we were up, Cervidil was out, got to shower (made sure to put deodorant on, forgot to do this with Ella!), and had Chick-fil-A for breakfast.  This was the first meal I was able to get without having to worry about pricking my finger.  That felt nice.  The we started the Pitocin.

The morning went by without anything exciting.  Then early afternoon hit and it was time to break my water to try and move things along.  I in no way wanted to spend another night having the Cervidil again!  With this things started to progress so the epidural was called.  Thankful it was called sooner this time around!

I forgot what an ordeal this is and how everything has to be just so so.  The anesthesiologist put it in and then I waited.  I only seemed to feel it working on one side.  Panic set it.  I told the nurse but she seemed to not believe me but when I could feel everything that was the clue!

The anesthesiologist came back, took out the first and did a second one.  This one worked.  But then the machine it was on kept beeping.  It seemed like something just had to go wrong.  It couldn't be a smooth experience.  So between that and my fear of pulling it out, I was on edge!

As we kept progressing, the nurse noticed that the baby wasn't facing the right direction.  So I had to lie different ways and change it up every few minutes to try and have him turn.  Luckily he did.  It's crazy to be how fast everything happens.  They started getting the room set up and then we started pushing.  We only went through 3 rounds of pushing before Dr. Combs came in.  They put me on oxygen.  Pushed one more round and he was out!


Holding Landon for the first time was unbelievable.  I got to hold something that I carried around, talked to, did life with.  He was my little guy that God entrusted me with.  He had a breathing problem.  They tried having him do Skin to skin with me and hope that would regulate it but it didn't work so they had to take him out and have him on a machine.  I had to leave my new baby boy.  He was away from us for 12 hours.  They brought him in to try and feed but that was it.  They called it Wimpy White Boy syndrome because his lungs were developed just yet.

He came back to us the next morning.  As much as I hated him being gone, I know that we needed the sleep.  

Ryan went home later that day to get Ella.  She came strolling in the hospital, no idea who she was going to meet.  She loved him at once.  She kept calling him (and still does) Baby.  She wanted to hold him and touch him and figure him out. 



Ella went home and we spent the rest of the day just hanging out, Landon and I.  Ryan had a call and some work to do so he was doing this throughout the rest of the day.  We woke up Sunday ready to leave.  It took forever to get out of there.  The stars all had to align.  My doctor had to sign off, Landon's doctor had to sign off, and the nurses had to be ready and the discharge people had to be ready.  Not easy to get everyone on the same page.  We were out of there by early afternoon and ready to be a family of 5!